Things NOT to say to large families

Homeschoolers often have large families.  In our little co-op, back when we started, we each had one or two kids (three for Lorri, but two were already grown).  Now I have three, but the three other families have expanded to have seven, eight and eight.  Our co-op has grown!

The Sun King’s masquerade ball-inspired project

I am the oldest of eight.  As such, I have heard some of the rudest things I have ever heard spoken, about large families.  To save well-meaning folks from sticking their proverbial feet in their mouths, I have compiled a list of things I have actually heard from people that are fine examples of things NOT to say to large families and why they should not be said:

1. Are they all yours? Let me ask you this – does it matter?  If they are in coordinating outfits with matching home done haircuts, you know the answer.  And yes, the one with entirely different skin color is probably theirs, too.  He feels different enough; please do not make it worse.  You may ask, in genuine humility before the awesomeness of these incredible moms, how many kids they have.
2. Are they all from the same marriage?  How many fathers do they have? That is offensive to the lady who has only ever had one husband and humiliating to the lady who has not.  Be respectful.
3. Don’t your parents have a TV? This one is the worst of all.  What kid wants to even think for a second about her parent’s bedroom life?  If you have asked this, go apologize now.
4. Are your parents rabbits?  See number 3.
5. You know what causes this, right? Don’t hate couples with really good sex lives.  If you ask this, you deserve a graphic answer.
6. I could never do that!  Technically, this is a statement, but worth addressing.  We already know that.  Actually, you do not know what you can do until you stretch and grow and try.  Remember, she likely did not
   
   

   Super mom Meegan teaching Latin at co-op

   acquire all eight kids at once.  Like the training of an Olympic athlete, she took on a little more, then a little more until she became the powerhouse mama you see before you.  People also never seem to think of the reality of the age spread of large families and that older ones help the younger.  And no, it is not a burden, it is a lesson in responsibility and the value of life.

Ask yourself this when you are tempted to comment negatively – Which of these children would you say should never have been born?  It is a matter of valuing human life.  It is a matter of believing that we are wonderfully made and that we have purpose.  Let us examine our hearts and see where judgment should be put away and love and humility worn in its place.

And this is for all of you hard working mamas – what you do matters!

Here’s to you, moms!

Jesus said that whatever we do for the least of these we have done for Him.  Changing diapers matters!  Teaching capitalization rules – again – matters!  Praying with and for you kids matters!  Dishes matter, laundry matters, playing silly games with your kids matters!  Do those little things to serve Jesus today with a full heart, knowing that He sees and smiles.

The Latin program pictured above is available here (affiliate link).