An Honest Letter to God about my Dad

Dear Jesus,
My dad needs you to heal him.

My Faith Renee is his oldest, his first grandchild. She is the one with the big ideas. “Grandad” has always been her partner in crime. She needed him to star as Mr. Monopoly in her movie, Little Miss Monopoly. He was terrific.
We were surprised when it won an award. My dad wasn’t.

She has another big project, this one on her hero, a marine biologist. She has only one more scene to film. Faith had cast her Grandad as the professor and mentor that helped launch Eugenie Clark’s career in an age where women were not typically supported in their dreams. She thought it was a perfect fit. Before the last scene could be filmed, my dad ended up in the hospital. He is gonna need to jump in the ocean and save the main character to finish this movie.

Dad is Summer’s best jiu-jitsu coach. She improves with his instruction. Dad and Faith have been building a giant chicken coop in my yard out of only recycled materials. Lord, only you and my dad know what the plan was here for this half finished thing sitting on my lawn. He needs to finish this.

Frank’s kids are well known for work ethic. This was instilled by our dad every day of our lives. And mostly by example. This guy worked at hard, physical labor all of his life. He had just retired! What had he enjoyed, maybe three weeks of it before we was hospitalized? He told me a few weeks ago, that sleeping in was the best part of retirement so far. He set his alarm on his first morning of retirement, just so he could finally have the pleasure of shutting it off and going back to sleep. Now he finally had time to play with his grandkids. Most of them are too little to have made any memories with this kind, gentle, man. He needs to play with his grandkids and make some memories with the little ones. My little one.

As tough as Dad is to impress, he gives second chances. Many times we have rolled our eyes at his compassionate heart, bordering on being a sucker. He cannot stand idleness whatsoever, but if someone is willing to work, Dad is all about helping. We have seen him give the literal shirt off his back to someone in need. We joke about Dad’s halfway house because he will rent a room to someone the rest of us might turn away. And he gets burned by it sometimes. Other times he has the joy of seeing a person get back on their feet.

You know exactly what condition my father is in. You understand better than any of us, because you created him. COVID pneumonia has him ventilated, artificially paralyzed (so he will lay on his stomach, loosening the mucus in his lungs), damage to his lungs, swollen, being fed and hydrated through an IV. This is a strong man. Even is 66 years old he had not shown very many signs of wearing down. The arms that caught me jumping off of the roof at 5 years old lay weak and still right now.

It was your will to take my mom home twenty years ago. She was so young, younger than I am now. It caused so much grief, so much pain, so much heartache. The trickle down effects of her loss still haunt us. You promised to turn it into good. There has been some. I am still waiting for the good to outweigh the evil, though. I wake up every morning and choose to trust you. Where else would I turn? I know the medical professionals have nothing for us. As much as I appreciate and respect them, I choose to trust in the One who created them.

Whatever You choose to do here, you know I say with Job, “Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him.” But You promise that Your mercies are new every morning. Let them be mercies of healing this morning, Let the prayer of faith raise up the sick man. Restore Dad to health and heal his wounds. By Your wounds, Dad is healed.

You know Dad is far from perfect. You know his frailties and besetting sins. Like most kids, we learned more than a few choice words from him in moments of anger. He let us down after Mom died, in some big ways. He may not deserve Your divine healing. But none of us deserve anything from a Holy God, but wrath.

And we wait. I know what I am waiting for – healing. I have done everything you have asked. We have prayed without ceasing. I have fasted. I have praised despite the circumstances. Even called for the elders. This isn’t about me, though. I humbly call on You, God of my salvation, my dear Heavenly Father, the Perfect One, to hear the cries of your children, to answer with healing. I sit at your feet expectantly, with my hands open wide to receive Your good gifts.

In the Blessed and Worthy name of the Lamb, Jesus, Amen.

To everyone who is praying

Thank you so much for the love and prayers, dear friends. You are holding up our arms and we know it and feel it. God hears. We do not grow weary because you do not grow weary of doing good. In due season we will reap, if we don’t lose heart.